Memo 043: Arrival Fallacy

The dangerous belief that happiness lives in the future

Opening Statement

For the majority of my life, I believed there would be an arrival point. A moment where the dots would magically connect and I would finally feel successful, fulfilled, secure.

But with each passing milestone I was continually disappointed by the internal void that remained. It left me to wonder, why do so many of life’s biggest milestones fail to deliver the permanent fulfillment we expected them to?

The answer: Success is not measured by achieving goals, but by how aligned we feel while in pursuit of them.

Exhibits

Gloss Docket

Grabbing: A portable charger and Hokas for a long walk.

Listening: Speak Now Vault Tracks (just feels like summer to me)

Obsessing: Being a Knick’s bandwagoner and watching the NBA Finals at Buddy’s

Styling: baggy jorts and a little top

Stepping into: knowing that happiness can (and should) exist right now

Testimony

When I found out I passed the bar exam, I was ecstatic. For about 15 minutes. Then I cried. not tears of joy or relief. Just a strange, sad, emptiness that caught me completely off guard.

After nearly 8 years of school and exams, I realized that passing the bar and becoming a lawyer was not going to change my life nearly as much as I thought it would. The milestone I had spent years building my case upon did not stand a chance against the insatiable void inside of me. I was still me and my problems still existed. At the time, I thought something was wrong with me. Shouldn’t I feel happier? Shouldn’t this be enough?

Surely after all this work, there should be some final ruling declaring me successful, fulfilled, and complete.

Instead, I was experiencing the arrival fallacy: the false belief that reaching a future milestone will create a lasting state of happiness, fulfillment, or completion.

Promotions, relationships, degrees, weddings, follower counts, titles, we convince ourselves that once we achieve the goals we set, everything will finally feel correct.

But the payoff never actually comes because each arrival eventually becomes a departure point.

The verdict? No job can create self-worth, no relationship can create self-identity, no title can create purpose, and no accomplishment can heal the repeated dissatisfaction of always reaching for what’s next.

The evidence overwhelmingly establishes that fulfillment is built through the daily experience of living in alignment with your glossed self.

So while you chase the dream, take the risk, get the promotion, pass the exam, build the company, etc., don’t make the mistake of believing your life is waiting on the other side of those things.

Your life is happening in the present. now. If there is no final destination, then the quality of your ordinary Tuesday matters infinitely more than the promise of some future milestone.

Closing Argument

The ruling is in, there is no arrival point. This is actually very good news because it means life is not beginning later. Its happening now. So chase your wildest, glossiest dreams while knowing that you should be enjoying life immediately, right now.

Don’t make the mistake of believing your life is waiting on the other side of a milestone.

Judgment entered against the arrival fallacy.

Briefing adjourned.